You Know What They Say.

Another day another...dollar?

I'm unemployed. But I want a car...how does this correlate? Where does one get off at acquiring something worth fighting for...or worth the labor to obtain money.

Maybe that's not what I came to talk about. I like someone. I like him a LOT. Well, not really, but it's enough to actually talk to someone and be like, "whoa, you get me and I get you."

Well I don't wanna talk about that either.

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Troke.

just go here and the Taylor Swift of Blogs will be at your fingertips.

icanread.tumblr.com

The Dawn Left Me Blind

Where does the idea: to be reach its fork in the road?

As I sit here listening to florence + the machine I've realize the crucial importance of love. Whether we give it or receive or just leave it alone. Where can I find it though? In high school, the one thing we think we can find is love. But it's so slippery so hard to catch...and is it really catching we're doing, or is it that we stumble upon these things.

If you've never been in love as a child, here's how it goes: you see him/her, you don't know why but you feel something, soon you become unbelievably comfortable, then voila! love.

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OK, that crude description is NOT how it goes haha, but for most people you meet someone you really REALLY like. Someone that will be there all the time...Well I don't think it's the process I sat down to talk about. I wanted to know how you KEEP it together. How you pull up your pants and buckle down to business and actually make it work.

Maybe we should stop searching for love, just stop it. If we enjoy the period of individuality, we may gain tolerance which is necessary in a relationship. We gain respect, virtues that are necessary in a healthy relationship. Also we find ourselves, we find who we are, what we want...blah blah blah.

My worst fear: Waiting. Waiting then nothing comes. My parents tell me there will be so many guys throughout life. But I want him NOW! Another thing we need to work on people: patience. What my parents said will most likely be true, and why am I worrying? I'm too young to feel as if I need someone else to take care of me and someone I need to take care of. I mean I have two parents and three siblings and my friends that love me so so so so much, why do I need that extra?

Most likely, I need that extra to feel extraordinary. It's hard being normal, OK looking, and best friends with one of the most gorgeous people anyone will ever see. I just want that one person to pop up and be like HERE I AM! But as I said earlier, patience.

And maybe, in the end I'll be A.O.K.

Troke.
[the girl you never knew.Georgia Wonder]

The essence of life is finding something you really love and then making the daily experience worthwhile.

Denis Waitley.

Big Scary Dragons

It's the fact that we know mythical creatures can be defeated is what keeps us going every day.

As I've said multiple times on and off the screen: this is my Living chapter. This is where I really get grinding on who I am. I don't know, it just happened.

Today. I think. My heart was broken again. It's a different way each time, that's why it hurts. They say the first cut is the deepest; well how about this- that may be the deepest but it's sure as hell still going to hurt when you cut somewhere else! It's called pain transfer (Troke terminology). Instead of thinking about how you suck in school, let's see how you take it when your boyfriend decides to cheat on you and leave you. Aren't thinking about those grades anymore are ya? Well, still that doesn't work and it makes a massive pool of, well, pain. No one ever asked for this, so trust me,  you're not alone.

I thought if I fell again, it would be because I tripped, not because someone or something pushed me down. I'm just so reckless right now. I have ruined my chances of a high school sweetheart by destroying my soul link to light, and I'm in darkness once again. Sadly the difference is I'll probably not be depressed where I'm crying and sleeping; more like insomnia, eating, and drinking.

My worst fear: I end up smoking- cigarettes.

I think I'll be fine, it's one of those phases we all go through right? If anyone reads this, I'm pretty sure it'll be the reaction we all get when we searched for porn and found Miley Cyrus instead.

Hm, that's really not attractive.

Troke.
[i want you.Kings of Leon]

Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.
G.K. Chesterton.

Take Control

with or without doubt, we breathe, we live.

It always makes me feel a little sad when I'm around people and suddenly I think about everything, where I am, who I'm with, what makes me happy really. And seeing everyone else happy, I would just freeze that moment in time. He who does not know himself...well, you truly are happy, to have a goal in life.

It always depresses me a little when I realize where I am, realize how my life truly is, and is it wrong to be aware- no. But what is it that keeps me from seeing the bright side of things on the sunny side? Where is the line that I crossed that I don't know why I'm still here, why I'm still living?

Perspective- I am one in over a billion people here on Earth. About a million others have felt the same as I have, not to mention those not accounted for. Most would stop and realize that they hate life. They hate the fact that life just ends, not here, but in some dark future setting. But no, hopefully, most of us realize that we don't always get what we want. The silver lining is there, and this is it. The moments you get to laugh, love, LIVE, those are your moments to hold. You have to set them apart from each other in order to truly understand the caliber of your life compared, really, to someone else.

it's all in how you see it.

Troke.
[california king bed.Rihanna]

Blow the dust off the clock. Your watches are behind the times. Throw open the heavy curtains which are so dear to you -- you do not even suspect that the day has already dawned outside.

Alexander Solzhenitsyn.

Hostage.

if it's one thing or another, it's always the other.

So, New Year's, it was nice. I had a million people saying that they'd change and things were gonna be different, but what's different? Nothing, some things are better with consistency. I'd rather you'd stay who you are and changed because you wanted to, not because some imaginary system has made you do so.
That's the thing. We change on others or something else's circumstances. What we want, we want because we see it within someone else's grab. Wouldn't I be happy if I had what they have? Or felt what they felt? So let me do the same thing as them...

It's easy to hold on to a dream, easy to hold onto repetition. But what makes us who we are is what we know can break us. This year and any other time in our lives from this point on should be about becoming by breaking. Who are you really? And if you're sure of who you are, check again. Overconfidence only leads to doubt and doubt leads us down a dark unnecessary hole of things we probably don't want to experience, let alone for those who are experiencing deja vu.

So stop holding on so tightly to broken windows, which only leave you with broken glass and cut palms. I, personally, think of letting my conscience be my guide. In this case I feel pretty good about what I'm saying haha, whether the reader does or not- perspective will always be put before what's right or wrong.

This week, is good.

Troke.

I see it all perfectly; there are two possible situations - one can either do this or that. My honest opinion and my friendly advice is this: do it or do not do it - you will regret both.

Soren Kierkegaard.